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SAMPLE CHAPTER
Chapter 1
A
is for Agent
An agent wants to
represent me ~
Things to consider before you sign a contract
The six sweetest words an unpublished, or in some cases
published, writer yearns to hear are, “An agent offered me a contract.”
All the hard work has paid off. It’s time to reap the
rewards. Or is it? Many reputable agents evaluate an author’s work with an
educated eye. When they are enthusiastic about an author’s work, they often
offer representation contracts in accordance with accepted guidelines.
Unfortunately, there are as many or more who call themselves agents , but are
really just waiting to see how much they can get from their next pigeon.
The legitimate agent is dedicated to promoting their
clients’ work, negotiating contracts and much more. They take on a client
because they feel that author’s work is professional, compelling and most
important, something they can sell to a publisher. But what about the sharks
who offer the moon and don’t even deliver a little piece of green cheese? Their
mission in life is to relieve the “publish-me” hungry writer of as many dollars
as possible.
This doesn’t mean an innocent writer who fell for the scam
couldn’t have gotten an agent. Some fleeced authors are truly talented, but
they jumped at the wrong deal. Others are writers who are not yet proficient at
their craft and may never be at the stage where their work warrants
publication.
The latter group usually has convinced themselves that their
baby will be a blockbuster. In fact, they might be out shopping for the outfit
to wear on The View at this very
moment. Whatever the case, shady agents shower the hapless client with
compliments, all the while painting brilliant word pictures of untold success.
Who doesn’t love being told their work is wonderful? These scam artists reel
out the blarney as long as the writer continues to shell out money.
A personal experience with a scam artist
Early in our fiction writing experience, my sister and I
received an acceptance letter from one such agent, who shall go nameless. A
$300 deposit, requested in advance, allegedly would cover printing and
submissions. After the thrill of knowing an agent wanted us, the demand for
front money niggled at us and eventually waved a giant red flag. The agency was
listed in multiple literary agents’ guides and had seemed legitimate. However,
when we checked Preditors and Editors, no longer available online, we
discovered numerous complaints against them. Although they did not list clients
and would not divulge them when the information was requested, we did some
detective work and found two authors whose work had been tied up for a few
years with this “agent.” The only action they’d had relative to this agency was
writing more checks for “advances.” We decided to have some fun.
We emailed the agency thanking them for the contract but let
them know we searched the internet and found various complaints. Here is where
we had the fun. In the next line we claimed we would still be willing to have
them represent us but wanted them to reimburse themselves from royalties in
lieu of the requested $300 deposit.
Their answer arrived so fast it broke speed records.
“Regretfully, Mr. Agent has suddenly become extremely ill.
Therefore, he will not be able to take on any new clients. Unfortunately, we
must withdraw the contract and offer of representation.”
Was this an amazing coincidence? After all, only a few days
before they gushed about how much they loved
the manuscript. Obviously they didn’t love it enough to defer the $300
until they made the big sale their offer letter alluded to. We later discovered
our manuscript had needed lots of work at that point, including rewriting big
chunks of it. They would probably have offered the services of a dandy editor
who would have kicked back a referral fee to them. Any questions?
Are you ready for “prime time”?
Here is what we determined our problem to be, and this part
of the story is mostly for unpublished authors who are ripe for this common
rip-off scheme. We wrote a good query letter, but the manuscript didn’t stand
the test.
Fortunately, after requesting and reviewing the manuscript,
a few other agents offered sage advice. Both of us had been published but not
in fiction. We clearly didn’t understand point of view and many other nuances
that weren’t part of writing magazine articles, political print copy and, in my
sister’s case, a cookbook and touring guide. These helpful agents said they
felt we were good writers and offered suggestions about what we needed to do to
write fiction successfully. In other words, we simply were not ready.
Of most importance, was the one who suggested hiring a
manuscript evaluator for A Corpse in the
Soup and said we should take workshops related to fiction. Once we learned
more about the “tricks of the trade” of writing fiction, we recognized and
fixed the problems in our manuscript.
Rule number one. When
choosing an evaluator, editor or book doctor, make sure they have experience in
your genre and their style is compatible with your style. Be leery if the agent who just loves your work
recommends a dear friend who is also a wonderful editor and will polish the
manuscript for thousands of dollars. Make sure to research that editor’s
credentials before signing a contract or shelling out a deposit.
I heard one horror story at a writers’ critique group
involving the recommendation to such an editor. This author confided that
although the editor had no actual clients she could talk to, the woman had been
married to an award-winning author and therefore must know how to edit and do a
good job of it. That’s kind of like touching the hand of the maid who works for
the cousin of a movie star. Marriage is not a credential unless it means she
was the editor for her husband’s work. Yet the author relating this story was
starry-eyed and couldn’t wait to send off her manuscript and check.
Before my sister and I hired anyone, we had to agree upon
the choice. Both of us were totally in tune with our evaluator although we
never met her. The entire process was accomplished by email because she lived
on the East Coast, I lived in California and my sister lived in Alaska. The
manuscript was rewritten with wonderful Jen as our instructor. Rather than
sending us chunks of rewritten material she discussed problem areas, made
suggestions, then asked us to send her our rewrites. She even gave us reading
assignments and recommended how-to books. The lessons we learned shaped the way
we write today.
When our manuscript was completely edited, we paid Jen the
last installment of her fee. That was when we learned why we never had phone
conversations with her. Jen confided that she was deaf and could only work
online. Of course, we were never aware of her disability and were even more
impressed with her.
If you are lucky enough to get a personal message, even if
the book is rejected, listen to what agent tells you. If you see a pattern
forming several agents saying the same thing it’s time to take a hard look at
your work with an open mind.
What should the new author look out for to avoid being
scammed? At the top on my list is the item that alerted us—Up Front Fees—and
the list goes on from there. Always check sites like Writer Beware, as well as
searching the internet for information about both the agent and agency.
Fees
An agent is supposed to make their money from selling their
client’s work and keeping a percentage as a fee. Most agents won’t charge in
front for their services. Sometimes disreputable agents cloak their grab for
up-front money in a bogus description like “representation initiation fee,” or
“marketing fee,” or a “retainer,” promising to refund it from sales. If that’s
the case and they don’t sell your work, it’s not hard to do the math.
During a discussion about agents at a writers’ group
meeting, one woman said she was sad that she finally had to give up her agent.
When asked why, she answered in a dejected tone, “I couldn’t keep paying the
$2,000 a month retainer.” This aspiring author had been ripped off royally to
the tune of about $8,000. When agents charge legitimate fees, they are most
often deducted from sales, not paid for in front or as a hefty retainer. This
poor lamb had absolutely no idea what the agent was using her $2,000 a month
for and upon further questioning we found she had never even received a list of
submissions.
Signs of inept skills or bungling
Maybe an agent really is sincere, but just doesn’t know how
to do what it takes to sell your novel. If they are a part-time toll booth
worker, but also work the phones in the morning before starting their regular
job, or say they know they can sell your novel because their first cousin’s
wife’s friend is in the business, all I can say is: beware. What training,
contacts or credentials do they really have? What qualifies them to take your
precious baby—the one you’ve nursed along and pinned your hopes to—and toss it
out there waiting to see if it lands somewhere? Pitching a novel to a publisher
or editor is a one-shot opportunity. One shot only! If you burn all those
bridges with the wrong representative, you usually can’t go back to the well.
More About Editing Service Referrals
“You have a wonderful, compelling manuscript and with a
little editing it will be a blockbuster. Now let me recommend a great editor
for you…”
Red flag number two. The
agent may recommend an editor, packaging company, or book doctor. The title
means nothing. What it means is that if you are foolish enough to proceed that
way, the “agent” will receive a gratuity from their pal, and you may receive a
mediocre edit. I’ve been shown some editorial commentary and a review from
alleged “New York editors” that could more easily win an award for fiction than
the novel itself. The authors were innocent marks, truly believing their book
received an excellent edit or review (and an expensive one at that) because the
editor was highly recommended by my agent.
One of those authors showed me her review and asked if I
would read the manuscript and give her a quip (a one or two-line review or
comment.) I did look at the editor’s review. The first several paragraphs
extolled the magnificence of this novel, but the glowing review contained
spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. It went on and on about the
possibility of a publishers’ bidding war because the novel was so good.
Curious, I decided to read the first chapter. I never got past the first few
pages. The idea was good, but the writing was awful.
Website, email addresses and how the agent presents
themselves or their company
This isn’t as high on the list, but is important. The cyber
world has evolved and if a legitimate business doesn’t have a website, it seems
like they aren’t really a business. It doesn’t have to be super-fancy, but it
should look professional, impart information and give some references that
qualify them as an agent.
By all means, think twice if the agent’s email address is
something like agentsareus@funkysite.com. It most likely is a sign of rough
waters ahead.
Are they out there on social media sites like Facebook,
Twitter and LinkedIn? Most of all don’t jump into anything without checking it
out thoroughly. Visit websites that flag complaints, network with other
authors, attend conferences and pitch your work, ask for recommendations
wherever and whenever you can, but for heaven’s sake, please never fork over
your hard-earned cash to chase a dream before you know who you are dealing
with.
Here are some worthwhile websites current at the time of
publication. Without fail, always look up the agent, agency or publisher on
Writer Beware. These are listings with various types of good information, but
all are very clear that their listing of the agent is not an endorsement. It’s
up to you to check things out.
Agent and Publisher Directories
Writers Market 2018: The Most Trusted Guide to Getting Published
Jeff Herman’s Guide to Publishers, Editors and Literary
Agents, 28th Edition: Who They Are, What They Want and How to WinThem Over
Online agent listings, some with “tracking record” feature
http://www.agentquery.com/ (Includes
a Query Tracker.
Writers Guild signatory agents and agencies
I made it reversible by using an alternate image (which must be pasted into the template upside down as you see it below. That way when you reverse the cloth the image is still going in the right direction.) Now I can choose which side I want to use depending upon the event and whether I can use my new retractable banner. I am signing at Grouchy John's Coffee at 8520 S. Maryland Parkway in Las Vegas on December 20 from 10 am to 12 pm and can only use a table display at a shared table, so I will use the front plus a table sign for the books I'm promoting.
But at a January presentation I will be able to use the large, freestanding retractable banner which shows 12 of my 18 books. I will probably want to show the reverse side of the table runner featuring the new Writers' Tricks of the Trade book since that is not on the banner. It is great to have the flexibility of choosing. 
